"Udah gimana far?"
"Belom?"
adalah beberapa ekspresi orang2 sekitar gue saat2 ini. Tentang, lo bisa tebaklah.
Hmm sebenernya gue juga bingunggg mau jawab apa ya. Kalo ditanya udah gimana, ya gimana apanya? Ditanya belom juga, emang mau apa abis ini?
Hadeh ribet juga ya kalo udah kayak gini. Gue gak mau, gak bisa jawab apa2 kalo ada yg nanya, karena, ini bukan tentang gue. Bukan tentang gue doang.
Can't deal with that? Quit now.
Life's pretty much.... i don't know, interesting? Err, complicated? These days..
Gue mulai tahun terakhir gue (amin!) di SMA hari senin kemarin. Seneng rasanya semangattttt mulai kelas 3 dan ngebayangin dalam waktu setahun lagi:
udah pindah ke Bandung...
daftar ulang ITB...
cari kos2 an...
Tapi! Sadar gak sih, coba dimundurin dikit ya:
UAN.
UAS.
TES FSRD ITB.
INTEN.
BINTANG MERAH.
SEKOLAH PULANG JAM 4 (ATAU SEKITAR ITU)
Whaaaattt? Yep that's what I have so far in mind. Aduh, rasanya takut banget kemaren pas diingetin sama wali kelas gue, Bu Ai, tentang gambaran nanti kelas 3 ini bakal ngapain aja.
Belajar materi kelas 3 cuma sampai desember.
berarti waktu gue tinggal 6 bulan.
dipotong sama libur2.
Dulu pas jaman2 kelas 2, gue dan teman2 pasti senengnya luar biasa kalo ada libur, apalagi libur yang sekalian semingguan kalo ada acara anak kelas 3 yang entah itu try out, ujian, dll.
We did not really care what that was about, did we?
Tapi sekarang... Hmm?
-skip dulu-
And so i've been this close with this guy that a friend of mine introduced me to,
a minor (i think) problem hit us last week. Can't tell you here :x
Awalnya gue yang bete banget (bukan sama orang ini) gara2 masalah ini. Tapi setelah beberapa hari, beberapa jam, dan dengan pencerahan dari orang2 terdekat gue, gue bisa mikir sedikit lebih clear lagi.
IF, this guy really does appreciate this girl for what she is, what she's been being.
IF, this guy really does like this girl, which, let's keep saying this in conditional.
Does he really like her?
Or is he in love with her?
I'm not sure if i really care that you say i'm like pathetic, or anything, for posting something like this on my blog. Well, life goes on with or without your judgements... True?
Honestly, guess what, i haven't been this close with a particular guy for like, 15 months, until we met. And guess what, because i guess i had, not less but trauma.
i, twice, did something bad to someone by letting another someone go,
pushing him to go actually,
and realized that what i did was terrible, and unfair, first thing in the morning
and i do not want to do the same thing to anyone, not another time.
I know, letting something end before it even started is just another unfair thing to do, but really, i doubt that we two are 'really' in that L word for now.
....another reason, maybe you think that this is just an alibi, but really it's not:
i only have 6 months to prepare for my best years ahead: College.
i'm afraid that i won't have much time to pass my time with both textbook, and you.
Oh don't ask me "why", or "why did you let this go on for so long".
Because you know what, you should've asked that to yourself:
Why did you let this go on for so long?
P.S: 1. I've warned not to read this if u can't deal with it, haven't i?
2. And this is not my final word. Keep talking.
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